New Beginnings
by Greyismyfavoritecolor
Summary: Lizzie Bennet, leaving behind her tragic life in small-town Kansas, has a fresh start as a new nanny to a wealthy Connecticut family. Will Darcy can be a bit intimidating, but around his four kids, he is the best man Lizzie has ever met. If only she could overcome her past and finally let someone in.
1. Chapter 1

She awoke to harsh sunlight illuminating a foreign room. Peering through a nearby window, realization hit her with such force that she nearly fell to the floor. She wasn't in Kansas anymore; that was readily apparent. Lush foliage covered a stretch of mountainous terrain, interrupted only by the vast expanse of ocean to the right of her. Connecticut. She had finally done it. She was here. An effervescent smile stretched across her face as she just barely suppressed a giggle. Was it really a giggle? The stifled noise surprised her, having not made any such sound since she was a young (and rather naïve) girl. She had lost the inane qualities of her teenage years only recently, and every time she thought of her prior demeanor, she felt the rush of embarrassment only found in hindsight.

She was pulled out of her reverie by a slight knock on the door. She moved across the room with alacrity, only to pause with her hand on the doorknob. She took a deep breath, set her shoulders, and swung the door wide open. She relaxed her stance as her eyes fell upon a small boy of about 8 years, with strikingly blue eyes.

"Elizabeth Bennet?" he asked with an attempt to conceal his trepidation.

"Yes?" she said with a encouraging smile.

"I'm Noah. Mr. Darcy's son?" he said it like a question.

"It's nice to finally meet the infamous Noah. I've heard so much about you! It seems you already know my name, but you seem like a pretty nice guy, so you can call me Lizzie." She spoke to him in a soft tone, so as not to frighten him away. Noah smiled back at her for a fleeting moment, but upon remembering his reason for interrupting her morning, he adjusted his tiny features into a more serious expression. His next sentence came out a bit lower, as if he was impersonating his father.

"Mr. Darcy requests your presence immediately." Noah's eyes flickered to a note in his hand. Lizzie suppressed a smirk. "He says it's urgent." He finished importantly. Her brow furrowed, wondering what would be of any significance this early in the morning.

"Thank you, Noah." She said, stepping out from her room. "Do you know where your father is?"

"Yes…" He looked a bit embarrassed.

"Could you show me, please?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, but didn't budge. After a slight hesitation, he added, "Lizzie?"

"Yes?" she said, confused.

"You aren't wearing any pants." He giggled at this. Lizzie's cheeks grew warm, but she tried to make light of the situation.

"Are you telling me that I have to wear pants this early in the morning?" Noah giggled again.

"Well you don't _have_ to."

"Wait here," she laughed. She ran back into her room, pulling on last night's jeans with alarming speed and agility before reemerging in the hallway and following Noah down an unknown corridor. Lizzie pulled her long and wildly curly dark red hair into a ponytail and wiped the sleepiness out of her eyes. She hadn't truly been able to admire the Darcy home during her late night arrival. She had merely been escorted to her room by a maid whereupon she collapsed onto the massive bed found inside. Now, though, as she followed Noah through a series of maze-like turns that she would surely have difficulty replicating in the future, she caught little glimpses of the beauty around her. From the intricately detailed crown molding to the ornate rugs covering the glossy wood floors, the house was beautiful. Lizzie didn't know where to look; at the fantastic view outside or the chandeliers dangling from the ceiling. A few more minutes of Noah's navigation proved worthwhile as they encountered a large door that exuded importance. He didn't knock, though Lizzie had a feeling that he should have. The pair entered the room hastily, only to stop short as Noah collided with his father, and Lizzie, in turn, collided with them both. Mr. Darcy made a grunting sound and Lizzie blushed, but Noah smiled proudly.

"I found her, see? I told you I could do it." He looked up at Lizzie brightly, as if searching for an affirmation. She smiled kindly.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Bennet," he said as if it wasn't a pleasure at all. He extended his hand in a shake and she took the crushing pain like a champ.

"Please, call her Lizzie!" Noah all but yelled up at his father. Lizzie laughed a bit, but upon seeing Mr. Darcy's stern face as he chastised his son's behavior, she spoke up.

"Oh, it's perfectly alright. I told him he could call me that, so it's only right if you do as well." She smiled shyly. He didn't return the smile, but nodded curtly.

"I would have come to get you myself, but I am quite busy this morning. I have to leave soon to take care of some important business, so we'll have to postpone your tour until tonight. I'm sure Noah will have you well acquainted with everyone throughout the course of the day, though. I know you probably weren't expecting to jump right into your new duties, but unfortunately there is no other alternative." He said unapologetically. He spoke again, crouching down a bit to properly address his eldest son. "You will be good for Ms. Ben – Lizzie, yes?" The boy nodded enthusiastically. "Can you show her where your brother and sisters are this morning?" He nodded again. His father smiled, ruffling his dark hair. The small show of affection made Lizzie smile as Mr. Darcy broke through his formal exterior. Noah looked up at him in admiration. Realizing his whereabouts, Mr. Darcy stood quickly and smoothed his coat. He cleared his throat before reaching into his pocket and producing a piece of paper. He handed it to Lizzie as he explained its contents to be a list of activities the children enjoyed, as well as their eating and sleeping habits. He seemed a truly sad to have to leave his children with a nanny, and it made her heart break to see Noah preparing himself for the departure of his father, which was probably a frequent occurrence.

"I hope your trip goes well, Mr. Darcy. Your children are in good hands." She gave him a reassuring smile. Grabbing Noah's hand, Lizzie turned to go, but halfway out the door Mr. Darcy spoke.

"Wait, Gigi!"

She stopped midstride in confusion. "Sir, my name is Lizzie." Mr. Darcy let out a low, mocking chuckle.

"No, Gigi the Giraffe. Audrey doesn't go anywhere without it. Be sure to have it with you at all times, or she'll become a little terror." He smiled a bit at this, as if remembering some horrifying situation in which one only finds humor after the fact. Lizzie turned bright red at her misunderstanding. She managed to nod in her embarrassment and turned to leave, but was stopped once again by an afterthought by Mr. Darcy. "Will. You can call me Will." He gave her a small smile and turned back to his desk to shuffle some important-looking papers around. When she finally made it into the hallway where Noah stood, she smiled to herself.

"What are you smiling at? Come on! You have to see all my toys!" He shot down the hallway, Lizzie tailing him briskly. It was sure to be an interesting day.


	2. Chapter 2

Again, they took turn after turn in the great hallways, and when she was positive they were lost in the massive house, they arrived at a set of double doors. Noah opened them, revealing a grand room that she was sure had been a drawing room in the 18th century, but was now a rather large and magnificent playroom for the Darcy children. Noah pulled her inside, and she examined the room carefully for the others, especially the baby whom she did not want to leave alone for long periods of time. A little girl with long, dark brown ringlets and the striking blue eyes of her father and brother sat in the corner pouring pretend tea into tiny pink cups. She looked to be around 6 years old, and judging by the weathered giraffe sitting beside her, her name was Audrey. She glanced up and smiled shyly at Lizzie. She pulled Gigi to her chest and stood up simultaneously. As she began the trek across the large room, though, she was interrupted quite violently by her smaller carbon copy in braids and a blue princess dress. Audrey was nearly knocked to the ground by the tiny girl's hug. Lizzie took a few quick strides towards the girls, swooping up the littlest one. "You must be Princess Lucy! What is a lovely dress you have on." Despite her previously wild actions, she smiled tentatively at the woman holding her.

"Thank you," she said in the tiniest voice imaginable before struggling to get down. Lizzie set her back on her feet next to her older sister and introduced herself. The girls smiled politely at her, then went back to their tea party. At least Audrey did. Lucy simply ran circles around the small table her sister sat at. Following their lead, Lizzy went back to her previous search for baby Samson. There was a small alcove filled with shelves of books on the other side of the room, as far as possible from the girls. In the middle of a few stacks of heavier looking works sat an older boy with large brown glasses dominating his face. He was reading an encyclopedia. She approached him cautiously, afraid to knock down his intricate method of organization.

"Samson?" she called in a quiet, but confused, voice in an attempt to disturb him as little as possible. He jolted at the noise, clearly just becoming aware of another presence in the room.

"It's Sam. Only my grandma calls me Samson, and that's only because she thinks I'm her dead husband," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Okay… I know how you feel," she replied understandingly. "About the name, not your grandma thinking you're her dead husband! Anyway, my mom always calls me Elizabeth, but I really prefer Lizzie." He looked at her for another moment before resuming his reading. She must have read their ages incorrectly in the job description. Lizzie was almost positive Sam was a 12 month old, but judging by his stature as well as his ability to walk, talk, and read, it must have been years. She stood there for a second more before Noah pulled her to a different part of the room, rambling about trains and baseball and how all his brother ever did was read and how that couldn't be a good use of his time. They finally reached an area that was clearly made just for Noah, encircled by a long train track. There was a small children's worktable completely covered with legos built up in various ways. To the side of it was an easel with white paper stretched across it, covered in various technical drawings, detailed beyond the little boy's years. On the other side of the small space sat a toy chest overflowing with toy cars and sports equipment. She was studying the items with such intensity that she hadn't noticed that Noah had gone on without her.

"Lizzie! Come Here! I want to show you something cool!" Lizzie smiled and walked over to the start of the train tracks where Noah was sitting. She crouched down next to him as he loaded a small train car with legos. He grabbed a remote control and leaned back, away from the tracks. He pressed the green button, and broke out into a huge smile as the train followed the track, taking the legos to his work station on the other side.

"Wow. That's really cool, Noah!" she said, smiling.

"Wait, it gets better," he said as he pushed another button on the control. The train let out a loud whistle and slowed to a stop in front of the piles of legos next to the easel. Noah giggled happily, but Sam grumbled something unintelligible from his side of the room, clearly upset by the distraction from his reading. While Noah was lost in his legos, Lizzie decided to familiarize herself with the rest of the large room. She walked over to the girls to find Lucy contently talking to herself while dancing around a toy chest filled with princess gowns. Audrey was sitting quietly at her table, sipping her pretend tea and adjusting the various stuffed animals seated around her. Lizzie stepped closer to her, making the girl startle. She looked up to see Lizzie, smiled, and invited her to tea.

They passed much of the morning in this way; Lizzie and Audrey having tea, Lucy playing princess, Noah building some sort of masterpiece out of legos, and Sam voraciously reading. When Lizzie glanced down at her watch, she realized that it was almost time for lunch. She contemplated wandering about the house in search of a kitchen, but thinking better of the idea, she asked Noah the tour guide if he would show her to it. He readily obliged. It was much closer than Lizzie expected, having turned down only two hallways to reach the large kitchen. Her mind was racing with food ideas as cooking was one of her favorite pass times, but when she walked into the space, she was met with an older, rather large woman preparing four plates of kid-friendly food. The Darcy's had a cook. Of course they did. They had a nanny and a maid, why wouldn't they have a cook? Lizzie felt silly. The woman introduced herself as Hill in the midst of shuffling the plates about in preparation to be moved to the table in the adjoining room. Lizzie grabbed two of them, causing Hill to smile kindly at her. Once the table was set with a lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, apple slices, and milk, Lizzie went to get the kids.

They enjoyed their food in contented silence, save for Noah, who was talking animatedly about wanting to go outside. Sam had a book hidden in his lap and Lizzie pretended not to notice. Lucy was still clad in princess attire and she had a feeling it was a daily occurrence. Audrey ate very little, seemingly lost in thought, which was odd for a girl so young, but didn't seem to be out of the ordinary for her. Hill brought in an extra plate of food for Lizzie, apologizing for not having been prepared for her. Lizzie thanked her, and Hill went back into the kitchen to presumably start the preparations for dinner. When everyone was finished eating, Lizzie took Noah's idea and they all went outside. Lizzie had to be escorted of course. She would really need a map while she was here or she would surely be lost every day.

When they finally made it to a back door, Lizzie was taken aback with the beauty of her surroundings. The lawn was immaculately well taken care of, with perfectly trimmed hedges and beautiful flowers closer to the house and a nice sitting area in a garden surrounded by a scattering of huge trees. One contained a tire swing, which was a quaint, country thing to have in such a stately place, but made her feel more at home. Just past the garden, there was a set of large rock stairs leading down to the sand and inevitable shore. The water was an azure blue and absolutely breathtaking with the afternoon sun shining on it. Lizzie had the sudden urge to submerge herself in its depths. Being landlocked all her life in the center-most state of Kansas, she had never seen anything like it, at least not up close or in person. Sam was the first to leave the group, sneaking off to sit under a shady tree for optimal outdoor reading.

_For a 1 year old, he sure did love to read_, she thought, laughing to herself. Noah ran to the tire swing, laughing all the way. Audrey opted for the garden, picking little wildflowers in happy silence. Lucy, though, seemed like she was worn out from all the dancing around and talking to herself this morning. She gave a big yawn, forming her tiny mouth into a perfect O, before grabbing Lizzie's hand and looking at her expectantly. Lizzie picked her up obligingly, and little Lucy almost immediately fell asleep on her shoulder. She rocked her as she walked around, taking in the verdant vibrancy of the environment, especially past the manicured lawn, where everything seemed much more natural. A slight wind blew the smell of the sea up to her, and she began to hum a soft tune in happiness. Lucy was sound asleep now, snoring faintly. Lizzie glanced around to check on the kids, finding Sam reading in the garden with Audrey playing in the flowers near him. She looked over at the tire swing to find it empty.

_Noah._

Lizzie walked as quickly as she could towards the eldest Darcy without waking the sleeping Lucy. "Hey, Sam? Did you see where Noah went?"

"Nope," he responded, not looking up from his book.

"Watch Audrey, okay?"

"Isn't that your job?" he asked, but went over to read a bit closer to his sister.

"Thank you," she said, walking briskly towards the back door. Halfway there, though, she thought better of it, as she would surely be lost in the maze they called a house. She opted for the side of the house first, saving the more difficult places for later. The side yard was empty, so she headed toward the front yard. As she rounded the corner, though, she collided with Will who was carrying the laughing Noah on his back. They both stumbled, trying to hold onto their respective children.

"I'm sorry!" They both said simultaneously, though Lizzie whispered due to the sleeping child in her arms.

"Shh…" Lizzie held a finger to her lips, and then pointed to Lucy. Will looked down at his youngest daughter with a small smile.

"She never sleeps for anyone except me…" he said, though more to himself than anyone else. As they started to walk toward the backyard, Lizzie spoke softly but sternly to Noah.

"Noah, it's okay that you wanted to see your dad, but next time tell me where you're going. Don't just run off." As she said this, Noah's eyes widened and looked hesitantly at the back of his father. Will swung him around in front of him.

"You told me she knew you were with me. We don't lie, Noah. You are to treat Lizzie as if she is me when I am not here. Do you understand?" He nodded sulkily. Will tickled the frown away, and put Noah on his back once again.

"Sorry about that," he said to Lizzie, and then, while looking pointedly behind him at his son, he added, "I assure you it won't happen again." Noah buried his face in his father's back in shame, and his father smirked. They walked over to the garden only to find Audrey wailing profusely. Lucy was roused from sleep by all the commotion. Sam looked at her apologetically.

"She forgot Gigi inside."

"Oh no! I completely forgot!" She set Lucy down, and ran to Audrey, scooping her up. "It's okay, sweetie," she said soothingly, brushing the curls out of the little girls eyes. "Gigi is right inside. She's sleeping. Don't you like to be alone when you sleep? So it's quieter?" The little girl's cries quieted as she nodded slowly. "Come here. It's okay. I've got you." Audrey hugged Lizzie's neck tightly as her crying subsided finally. Lizzie moved her so she could see her face. "You okay?" Lizzie asked with a reassuring smile. Audrey gave a tiny smile and nodded. "Are you sure?" Lizzie asked again. "I don't think so; I think you need a visit from the tickle monster!" She proceeded to tickle the little girl extensively, until she had the happy kind of tears in her eyes. When she turned back to the others, Will had Lucy in his arms and Noah was standing to the left of him. They were all staring at her. "What?" No one said a word. "What!? Do I have something on my face?" She rubbed it self-consciously.

"Nothing," Will said, and when she saw she was about to protest, he said, "I'll tell you later." Lizzie was less than satisfied with the response, and made a mental note to remind him to tell her later. They all headed back into the house, at which point Lizzie realized that Will was home early.

"Why are you here?" she said bluntly.

"I… live here?" he said as a question. She blushed.

"No, I mean, why are you here so early? I thought you weren't going to be back until tonight."

"Oh. Things were taken care of more quickly than anticipated, and I thought you might need some help with things on your first day, so…"

"Oh. Well thank you." She smiled kindly at him. They all grabbed a snack from Hill, and then returned to the playroom. Sam promptly left the group in search of another book while Noah went to play with his legos.

Lucy looked up at her father with wide eyes, and said, in the tiniest voice, "Daddy, will you play princess with me?" Lizzie saw Will almost visibly melt.

"Only if Lizzie can play, too," he replied as his eyes flickered up to her. Lizzie was sure he would play for only a little while, and then leave her to the girls, which would be fine if they didn't miss him so much. He ended up playing for a long time, though, which surprised her. He even wore a tiara, which was quite hilarious, but refused to put on a dress. Lucy kept trying, though, not fully understanding that it would be far too small for him. When it was finally time for dinner, both Will and Lizzie were covered in pink and purple makeup, while the girls sat virtually untouched. While the kids made their way to the dining room, Will led Lizzie to a nearby bathroom to wash their faces.

"Is there any way I could get a map to your house?" Will chuckled at her. "I'm serious! I don't think I'll be able to find anything without help for at least a month!"

"I guess I could draw you a map of how to get to the bathroom, kitchen, playroom, bedrooms…." After a few moments of thinking, he blushed. "The kids' bedrooms of course." Now Lizzie blushed, realizing his mistake. In a hurry to change the subject, she brought up the backyard staring incident. Will scrubbed his face for a few seconds before standing straight up to look at her.

"Once Audrey realizes her Giraffe is gone, she doesn't stop her fit until she gets it back. We went on a road trip a year ago and I guess she dropped it at a rest stop. We didn't realize it was missing until we had driven 3 hours. We had to turn around and she didn't stop crying the whole way back. I thought she was going to pass out from all the screaming. We were staring at you because it took you, what, a minute to stop it? And she was even laughing! Even Lucy couldn't believe it."

"Oh, well..." she paused a moment, perhaps to rethink what she was about to reveal to her employer, but then added resolutely, "I guess I just know how it feels to love someone so much that it physically hurts to be parted from it."

"Something," Will corrected.

"What?" Lizzy asked.

"Some_thing_. You said some_one_. A stuffed Giraffe is an inanimate object, not a being," Will replied.

Lizzie didn't blush, but instead went stark white, the blood draining from her face. Concern flickered across Will's face, but Lizzy quickly composed herself before adding, "Don't tell Audrey that." Lizzie forced a fake smile.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days went much like her first, as the children were quite the creatures of habit. This was certainly not a bad trait to find in a child. It made things much easier for Lizzie, being a brand new live-in nanny. She had the proper credentials, of course, or she wouldn't have been hired by the esteemed Mr. Darcy, but schooling didn't always add up to skill. You could easily learn everything there is to know about dog sledding, but not know how to dog sled in practice. Lizzie only had a year's experience as a live-out nanny, and no experience whatsoever in dog sledding, so it was a complete change.

It wasn't hard to uproot her life, though, for many parts of it were already dead and gone; and not in a metaphorical way, in a literal way. That was the only reason she could get herself to part with the recently not-so-comforting comforts of Home. The town of Home, Kansas was quaint to say the least. It was the type of town with one stoplight that only flashed red, skipping the other colors all together. It was a place where everyone knew everyone else's business, presumably because the grandmothers of the town had a knitting circle on Tuesday mornings at the one church in town where they did nothing but spread gossip and knit ugly sweaters so their grandchildren could _not_ wear them. Somehow the common knowledge between people always seemed like a comfort at hard times, but Lizzie surely didn't agree with that anymore. The only problem with the "love thy neighbor" philosophy they so readily believed in was when a neighbor didn't want to be loved.

Elizabeth Bennet was that neighbor. The mother hen-like actions of the community were truly a comfort after the disappearance when she was little, but in stark contrast, it was extremely unwelcome after her parents' deaths. The old women of the town converged on her, but little Lizzie Bennet refused their help, and after a while, they got discouraged. Everyone finally decided to just let sleeping dogs lie, which was a brand new concept to them, unsurprisingly. Due to this, they didn't fully comprehend the idea. They thought that if they didn't smother her in pies, warm hugs, and the ugly sweaters their grandchildren didn't want, they were leaving the situation alone. To Lizzie, though, the constant bombardment of questions regarding her well-being in addition to the pitying stares she received upon entering any establishment counted. So instead of facing her problems, as the town would have made her, she holed up in her house for months, not even leaving to buy groceries but opting to buy in bulk online. She isolated herself almost to the point of no return.

Lizzie finally realized, though, that people were not the enemy. She simply needed a change of scenery to take her mind off of things. She packed up her few necessary belongings, threw a dart at a map, and ended up in Connecticut. Of course, she had to secure employment first, which wasn't difficult given her background in childhood education and family studies. Children always made her happy, even when no one else could.

Though that had always been true, it seemed even more so in the case of the little Darcys. Noah was definitely a ball of energy, but it was not an unwelcome presence, as it often fueled the good spirits of the others. He was also rather good in the complexity with which he built things. Despite Sam's insatiable thirst for knowledge, he wasn't pedantic in any way. It seemed that he didn't want to appear smarter to outsiders, but simply wanted to better understand the world around him. And when he did finally set his book down, he and Lizzie could have some seriously scintillating conversations. Even little Lucy, who didn't seem to want to do much besides be a princess, brought a sort of liveliness to the bunch, though more subdued than Noah's almost fidgety actions. And as for Audrey, she seemed like an old soul. She was reticent, but when she did speak, she said the most profound things. As yesterday was a particularly nice day, they had all lingered outside a bit longer than usual. Audrey was sitting among the flowers like a little garden fairy. Lizzie sat cross-legged beside her, wondering what thoughts were running through the young girl's mind.

"What are you thinking about?" Lizzie finally mustered enough courage to ask, which was a bit ridiculous, considering she was six.

Audrey was quiet a moment, but then responded, ever so softly, "flowers."

"They're pretty, aren't they?" Lizzie responded, deflating a bit at the vague answer.

"They're sad."

"How is that?" Lizzie asked, confused now.

"Flowers are pretty, but if you pick them, they die. People always pick them, even though they know what'll happen. It's like they're taking all the beauty away from something that wants to be beautiful. I like to just sit and look at them outside for a long time so I never have to do that." Lizzie was at a loss for words, so she gave Audrey a sad smile instead. _That's an astute thought for a six year old to have_, she thought, _albeit a bit heartbreaking. What would prompt a child to think something like that?_ Lizzie thought about the observation on a more in-depth basis, but after mulling it over that night, she assured herself that Audrey was only thinking of flowers; nothing more.

Lizzie had the next day off, and was surprisingly saddened by the idea of not spending the day with the Darcy children. She was beginning to get attached to the family, which she hadn't foreseen. She liked the feeling of having a family again, which made her feel as if she was replacing her own. The happy thought inevitably cycled to a bout of several self-deprecating ones to counteract it ten-fold. She almost didn't want to get close to them, simply because she was an easily replaceable nanny and things happened. She couldn't take the pain of losing her family all over again.

So, on her day off, she refused to feel sad about not seeing the children. In fact, she avoided the Darcy's at all cost, meaning, of course, she hid in her room all day. Only under the cover of night did she leave her new-found sanctuary in search of a bathroom and some food. Lizzie really needed to remind Will about that map. She ambled about in utter darkness, finally coming across the playroom. _And it only took me half an hour of wandering aimlessly to do it!_ She thought. She remembered the bathroom Will showed her on her first day to be just down the hall. She smiled smugly when she found it, proud of her small accomplishment.

After showering, she went in search of the kitchen, which she remembered to be not too far from the playroom. She wandered to the other side of her landmark and down a few hallways where she was met with the faint glow of light emanating from the room she knew to be the kitchen. She sighed with relief as her stomach grumbled. She was walking so quickly to get to any form of nourishment that she didn't account for how slippery the tile floor would be on her socked feet. As she set foot in the kitchen, just two strides away from the fridge, she fell to the ground like something from a cartoon. She squealed quite loudly before clasping her hand tightly over her mouth, as if to keep any other noises from escaping. She sat there for about a minute, listening intently for footsteps. When she was sure she hadn't woken anyone up, she stood. She felt a bit sick now, probably due to the unfortunate combination of falling and an empty stomach. She wobbled over to the counter, realizing that skipping all of her meals today probably wasn't the brightest idea.

She opted for something lighter due to the sudden onset of nausea. Lizzie grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl, biting into it as she turned to the door from which she came. She was met by a giant wall of person. _Oops_ was her only thought, not being able to speak thanks to the apple wedged tightly between her teeth. She then realized how incredibly strange she probably looked right now. Her wet hair was wrapped tightly in a beach towel, her feet were adorned with fuzzy Christmas socks, and the rest of her body was covered with a large band t-shirt. It wasn't just any old band t-shirt, though. It was a Neutral Milk Hotel t-shirt portraying a woman at sea with a potato for a head. Needless to say, Lizzie was mortified. Her face matched the red of the apple she still had in her mouth. She pulled it out with some difficulty, finally allowing her eyes to meet Will's. She'd expected a mocking expression, with a bit of I_'m not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you_ added into the mix, or maybe a _what are you doing in my kitchen at one in the morning_ glare. She received neither. Instead she was met with a slight blush of his cheeks as if he was embarrassed to have encountered her in such a state, but the true feelings were in his eyes. _Had his eyes always been that expressive?_ She wondered. There was worry in them, but that was only a mask hiding his other emotions. Behind it, there was a hint of sadness, but it was intermingled with hope and longing. _Why would he seem hopeful to see me being ridiculous in the middle of the night?_ While Lizzie muddled through her inner-thoughts, she hadn't realized that neither one of them had spoken. They had been staring at each other for almost a minute before she came to her senses.

"I…socks are slippery. Where do you get your apples?" Well, maybe not completely to her senses. Will chuckled a bit, finally breaking their gaze. Lizzie wasn't sure how she felt about that. He cleared his throat to speak, but didn't address her previous question.

"You didn't come out for dinner. I was… well, we were…. Are you okay?" Perhaps Lizzie wasn't the only one a bit flustered at one in the morning.

"Yeah, yes. I'm fine. I just had some… things… to take care of." _Like waiting for your family to go to sleep while passing the time wallowing in self-pity._ "You should really be asleep," she stated.

"I could say the same thing to you. What was that noise earlier? I was getting ready for bed when I heard something coming from the kitchen. It sounds like a little girl, maybe Audrey…" he trailed off, looking at Lizzie expectantly.

"Yeah, no, that wasn't Audrey, that was me. I slipped on the tile." She looked down at her fluffy Christmas socks as she said this. Will presumably did, too, because he let out a low chuckle.

"It's May. Why are you wearing Christmas socks?"

"I do what I want," she replied with tenacity, folding her arms over her shirt, hoping he hadn't seen the potato girl.

"I see," he said, but, to her dismay, he was looking at her t-shirt when he added, "Neutral Milk Hotel. Nice." Her eyes brightened in surprise.

"When you were young, were you the King of Carrot Flowers?" she asked, not being able to resist.

"I was. For now we are young, let us lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing we can see." He replied with a smile. Lizzie was caught off guard by the earnestness of the expression. After a moment, though, she was brought back to the present by a nagging thought.

"That's a different song."

"No it isn't. That's in the King of Carrot Flowers."

"No. No it isn't. That's…. IN THE AEROPLANE OVER THE SEA!" She shouted, and then covered her face in shame, flushing with embarrassment. Will laughed whole-heartedly.

"You're right! Oh Lizzie, don't cover your face. It's okay. I'm the only one in this wing. You didn't wake anyone." He pried her fingers away from her beet red face. The touch was like a shock to Lizzie's system, though, and she could tell Will felt it, too, as his hand quickly retreated. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"

"Oh, no, you didn't." she replied, but he had already stepped away.

"I'll just let you finish your…" he looked down at the apple in Lizzie's hand before finishing, "meal." He turned away, walking quickly down the hall. Lizzie let out a breathe she didn't know she had been holding. It visibly deflated her body, just in time for Will to pop his had back in.

"You really should eat more than an apple. There's lasagna in the fridge. It's Hill's specialty," he said, before heading back down the hall, not leaving any time for Lizzie to respond. Sure enough, though, he was back a second later. "Goodnight, Lizzie." He said it with a small smile, and then finally left for bed. _Will sure has a thing for afterthoughts._ She went back to the fridge, grabbing some lasagna. Lizzie wasn't sure if it was as good as Will said because she ate it in a sort of daze. She couldn't stop thinking about that smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Lizzie had the next day off as well, but decided to spend it outside of her room. She still didn't really know her way around the Darcy home, so she opted for exploring the grounds instead. She figured it would be much easier to navigate outdoors than in, plus it was supposed to be a beautiful day according to her weather app. She put on her white cotton sundress to keep her cool and set out with a blanket and a good book. It was one of her favorites, _The Importance of being Earnest_ by Oscar Wilde, and she was looking forward to the light and witty banter of the characters she knew so well. It was a short play, so she would be able to read it in increments but still have the time to finish it. She trekked through the backyard, heading towards the sea. She had seen a patch of rocks down the beach when she had been out with the kids yesterday, and thought it would be a perfect spot for reading.

When she reached it, though, she realized it was completely exposed to the sun, and she had forgotten her sun block. Despite her freckled nose, Lizzie was excessively fair, and would surely burn if left out in the sun without protection for even fifteen minutes. She sighed at this realization. After contemplating whether or not to go back to get her sun block, she decided to just find a spot somewhere in the shade. Unfortunately, there were no trees on the beach, at least not ones that provided shade, and she didn't want to encounter Will or the kids on their day alone, so she had to walk further out toward a stretch of large trees about half a mile away. When she reached them, she found a small trail leading into the woods. Lizzie was quite fond of walking, so she decided to skip the book and have a little adventure. She hadn't had an adventure in a long time.

Adventures, to Lizzie, were not like the adventures of story books. An adventure was simply doing something out of the ordinary, like going for a long drive through the Flint Hills or visiting a new coffee shop. She absolutely loved adventures on foot, though, and she simply couldn't resist the temptation of an unknown trail. She explored the various facets of the trail, finding several forks in it, before entering a clearing where several other trails converged. It was a meadow filled with tall grasses and wildflowers, but the most intriguing part of it was the rocks encircling the small field. Upon closer examination, Lizzie realized they were covered with drawings that looked to be rather old. She didn't understand what they meant, of course, but it looked like some type of language. Fascinated, she sat in front of one, attempting to decipher any part of it. When she realized she was getting nowhere with it, she took out her book. The meadow seemed like as good a place as any to read, and the surrounding trees even provided a bit a shade on the edges where she sat.

At the point in the play where Jack and Algy announce their engagements to Lady Bracknell, Lizzie looked up, as if suddenly realizing she wasn't in 19th century England, to find that the sky had grown quite dark. She stood quickly, finally becoming aware of herself. When she checked the weather that morning, the forecast was good, but as she looked to the sky, she realized either the site was wrong or she had read the information incorrectly. In fact, it seemed like the clouds were about to release buckets of water on her for pure amusement. She gathered up her things, rushing to the trail, but as she reached its entrance, she became aware that she did not know if it was the correct one. She had wandered about the clearing for some time, examining the rocks, and had not paid any attention to which trailhead she had emerged from. As if urging her to make a decision, the sky boomed with thunder, shaking the ground beneath her. Lizzie quickly decided that there was no use in contemplating the correct way, for she knew she would just end up guessing anyway. Since she would have more protection from the rain under the trees, she decided to go with her first instinct.

To say that Lizzie's gut instinct was wrong would be an understatement. After ambling about through the trees for quite a while, taking twists and turns at random in hopes that she would get lucky and end up on the front steps of the Darcy home with Hill waiting with a nice cup of tea, Lizzie came to a road. It was lined with trees on both sides, and she didn't see a sign in either direction. If she was back in Kansas, she would have been able to find her way home with no problems. Connecticut, of course, was a different story. She had no idea, and with the sky dumping water on her from all sides, she resolved to call Will. She didn't really want to call him for fear of appearing weak, but she knew no one else, and it just made the most sense. She ducked back in the trees before reaching for her phone, attempting to keep it as dry as possible. She found "Mr. Darcy" in her phone, silently thanking her past self for programming his number in. He picked up after two rings.

"Lizzie?"

"Hey, sorry to bother you, but I think I'm lost."

"Are you trying to find the bathroom again? I thought the map thing was a joke," he said in amusement.

"No. More like trying to find your house. I'm not home. I went for a walk and it started pouring. You're the only person I know. I'm really sorry about this." She sounded desperate at this point.

"Well… What do you see? Any land marks?"

"I'm on the side of a road, but the road curves so I can't see any street signs. Other than that, trees; lots and lots of trees."

"Is the road paved?" His voice was serious now.

"Yeah. It's pretty steep, too. I don't think I walked more than a few miles, if that helps."

"I'll be right there," he said with finality, hanging up before she could respond.

After contemplating Will's strange reaction, Lizzie gathered that he was simply upset at having to leave his children for the silly nanny who couldn't take care of herself. She sighed at this realization, inwardly chastising her behavior. She had begun to like Will very much, and didn't want their relationship- friendship to end. Her thoughts were interrupted by a low rumbling coming around the bend at the bottom of the hill. An old and decrepit truck rolled towards her, stopping with a groan. It was Will. He swung open the passenger side door from the driver's seat, and Lizzie hopped inside. They sat there for a moment, idling, at which point Lizzie noticed she was shaking uncontrollably. Before she could say something to this effect, Will cranked the heater and threw a blanket over her. She smiled to herself, grateful that he thought to bring it.

"Thank y-y-you," Lizzie shuddered.

"I'm just glad you're okay. Mill Creek Road is dangerous. There are accidents all the time up here, especially in storms." He gestured to the sky at this. "You must have been walking for a while, though. I have no idea how you got so far out here."

"How far are we?" she asked.

"We're nearly in the next town, ten miles away from the house." Lizzie gave a little gasp.

"Oh! I'm so sorry you have to waste your time coming so far out to get me instead of with the kids…" she paused, but after a moment added, "how did you get here so fast?"

Will smirked before replying, "I'm a big fan of speeding. Though the truck doesn't share my feelings." He patted the dashboard as he said this, and then turned the truck around, heading back the way he came presumably at a much slower pace. "I would have been here even faster if I had had my car, but it's in the shop. And the kids are already in bed. I wasn't doing anything of importance." Lizzie looked at him in speculation, causing him to continue. "Really, I should be thanking you. I haven't driven this guy in a while. It needed it." He smiled fondly at the wheezing truck beneath him. "My grandfather gave this to me when I was a sophomore in high school. Wow. So I've had the thing for nearly fifteen years."

"You must have had Sam pretty young, then, if you're only thirty."

"I'm twenty-nine and Sam isn't my biological son," he said matter-of-factly.

"What!? But he looks just like you!"

"Yeah, so does my older brother, who just so happens to have been his father." Lizzie caught the use of past tense.

"What happened?" she asked, quietly.

"He didn't die, if that's what you're thinking, though sometimes I wish he had," he said with a humorless chuckle. "Charlie just left one day. Elise, his wife, died of cancer and he just couldn't take the grief. He left his son with me, and didn't tell anyone where he was going. Sam's been mine ever since. I adopted him, and since his dad didn't show up to the hearing, the judge granted me sole guardianship. He was just five years old, and we had just had Noah, so I got two sons in the same year." He smiled at the thought before continuing. "We don't talk about it, though, so don't feel bad that he didn't tell you. All the kids believe that he's their older brother, and he truly is. I honestly don't think he remembers much of the ordeal, which is probably a good thing. But when Caroline left, I think it drudged up some old feelings. He hasn't been the same since. Believe it or not, he was a lot like Noah four years ago. I think he blames himself, but what kid doesn't?" he finished sadly.

After several moments, Lizzie couldn't contain her curiosity any longer. "Caroline?" she asked tentatively.

"My Ex-Wife. She left just after Lucy was born. I think she tried to patch up our problems with babies, but when that didn't work, she followed Charlie's lead."

"I'm sorry…" He laughed, startling her.

"Don't be. We hated each other! The only reason I don't wish I'd never met her is the children. I don't know what I would do without my kids." He smiled fondly at the thought of them, which caused Lizzie to smile.

"You are a really great dad," she stated. After he gave her a look like she was insane, she added, "Really! You may work a lot, but that doesn't stop you from being the center of their universe." Will smiled kindly at her.

"You have to say that. There's some crazy nanny code. You're supposed to tell all the rich parents that their good even though they leave their children to be parented by you."

"No, I'm serious. When you're there, you are right there. You don't have your head in work while you're with your kids. Actually, a lot of parents don't even spend time with their kids when they're _home_. Everyone loves their kids, but you enjoy spending time with them. It's different."

"Well thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." They listened to the roar of the truck and the rain pitter-pattering for a moment. Some may think the silence uncomfortable, but it wasn't; not to Lizzie. Will's blanket, the sounds of rain, and the smell of oil, stale tobacco, and mints from the truck left her with a strange sense of calm. It reminded her of stormy nights in Kansas with her grandfather. But instead of feeling sleepy, she felt calm, but alive. It was as if electricity was surging through her.

"Will?" just as his name escaped her lips, a whining noise came from the front of the truck, followed by a loud clunk, and it slowly came to a stop.

"Maybe the truck wasn't such a great idea…"

"How far away are we?" Lizzie asked.

"Five miles. It's too far to walk in the rain. I'm going to take a look." He popped the hood before stepping out into the downpour. A little hesitation in his walk led Lizzie to believe that he had no idea what he was doing. She smiled knowingly before jumping out to help him. "What are you doing? You should really stay in the truck. You'll get sick." Will told her disapprovingly.

"What's that?" she asked, pointed to something under the hood.

"The radiator," Will replied.

"Wrong. Nice guess, but it's the transmission. Still don't need my help?" She asked, barely suppressing a smile.

"Fine, but I'm not going back inside. If you are getting sick, I'm getting sick."

"Yeah, that'll show 'em," Lizzie said under her breathe, then louder, "It's a moot point, anyway. I already know it's your transmission."

"Can we fix it?" he asked hopefully.

"You mean can_ I_ fix it?" she asked, smirking. "No, it needs a complete rebuild."

"I have AAA." Will pulled out his wallet and phone. His fingers deftly dialed the number on the back of his card, and he sat inside his car to talk to them. Lizzie closed the hood and ran back to her seat, shutting the rain out behind her.

"Yes. Okay. I only need a 5 mile tow to my house… I understand. Thank you." Lizzie just caught the end of Will's call. "So I guess we're not the only ones in need of help tonight. Apparently there was an accident on the freeway. They'll be tied up for a while. They said they'd try to get someone out here within the hour."

"Great."

"Too bad the car won't start. I could use a heater right now." Will shivered.

"Oh, here. Have the blanket." She set it on Will's lap.

"So…" Will began, but upon looking at Lizzie, his face turned red and he stopped, quickly looking away.

"What? Why aren't you looking at me?"

"I like your dress." He said with a small smile, still avoiding her gaze.

"Thank-" she started, but looking down, she realized the white cotton dress she wore to keep her cool was now drenched, and thus transparent. "Oh! God, I'm sorry!" Her face turned a brighter shade than Will's and she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Don't be," he said, with what sounded like a smirk, but Lizzie was too embarrassed to meet his eyes. She saw him rustling about in her peripheral vision before he produced a jacket in front of her. "That was inappropriate. I'm sorry. Here. It's soaked, so it won't keep you warm, but it'll cover you up."

"Thanks. Don't be sorry, it was a joke. I'm not going to sue you for sexual harassment." She giggled slightly. With his coat on, Lizzie finally looked at him, smiling. He smiled back, relieved that he hadn't upset her. "So… within the hour, huh?"

"Yeah. I think that might have been an understatement. It'll probably take longer. The accident was a pile-up, and judging by the tone of the guy's voice, it involved a lot of cars."

"Well, let's look on the bright side! We weren't in that pile-up. We have a vehicle, though not a working one… but it's still shelter from the rain! We have charged phones should anything terrible happen…"

"That was optimistic up until the something terrible part."

"I'm just trying to be realistic here. It can't all be sunshine and rainbows, Will." He chuckled at this.

"I think we've been over the fact that my life hasn't exactly been optimal. Speaking of which, if we have to sit here for the next who knows how long, you've got to even the score."

"Score? What are you talking about?"

"You now know my life story. What about yours? What made you move from Kansas to Connecticut to become a live-in nanny for me?" he asked.

She hesitated before replying, "It's a long story."

"Lizzie, we have nothing but time," Will prompted.

"I don't know… I don't want to be Debbie Downer."

"And Charlie and Caroline are something to laugh about?"

"No, of course not, but my life isn't, well wasn't, exactly normal." She responded.

"What's with the past tense?" Will reached over, grabbing her wrist. Lizzie tensed for a moment at the touch. "Yep, you still have a pulse. It seems to me, Lizzie, like your life isn't over yet."

"Ha ha," she said without humor, and then added, "Do you really want to know?" He nodded his affirmation. "Have you prepared yourself?" He nodded again and she chickened out. "My name is Lizzie Bennet, I'm from Home, KS, and I needed a fresh start."

Will looked at her, expecting her to continue, but when she didn't, he said, "Really? I prepared myself for that? That much was readily apparent, Lizzie. I think I'm looking for the _why_. Not the _what_."

"I don't think you're prepared for the why," she said.

"Try me," he challenged.

Lizzie took a deep breath and spilled what had been on the brink of overflowing for a year.


	5. Chapter 5

"It's been almost 17 years, but it still feels like yesterday. Jane and I were playing in the side yard of the church. Our mother was inside talking to the reverend about some upcoming fundraiser she was organizing and we were playing tag to pass the time. I was always 'it' because Jane was really fast compared to an asthma-riddled me. Twins are funny that way; one is always healthier. I had to stop and catch my breath for what felt like the 6th time when Jane came over a small hill between me and the road.

"Are we not playing anymore?" I asked her.

"Lizzie! There's a man by the road. He says he's lost his dog. We have to help him look for her!" she replied frantically.

"Who is it?"

"He's… well, I don't recognize him, but that doesn't matter. He looks so sad!"

"Jane, you know what dad said. No talking to strangers."

"Oh Lizzie, you really should learn to be more trusting. He seems nice enough." Before I could reply, she added, "I'm helping him, whether you do or not." She turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could towards the road, her hair flying behind her. I was still tired from all the running before and in no state to go chasing after her. I didn't run but instead walked briskly in the direction of the road. When I made it over the hill, I saw my sister getting into the man's car. I called out to her and she turned, smiling at me. She was beautiful in that moment, the sun shining on her, making her eyes twinkle. She turned to him, presumably to tell him to wait for me, but he turned the car on instead, speeding off down the road. That was the last time I saw her; my Janie…

We searched for years; never stopped, really. Everyone knew me as Missing Janie's twin sister. It followed me everywhere; even when I went to college, people would recognize my name and ask me about it. I just wanted it to be over. I loved my sister more than anyone, but the chances of finding her, alive or not, were slim a month after her disappearance. I want her to be alive; I ache for her, but my mother believed she could will her into existence. She so desperately wanted her baby to come home; she was consumed by it. None of us were ever the same after that.

The statistical probability of finding Jane alive was infinitesimal. I was just so tired; tired of all the searching and searching for that lost cause. Each time was like slicing open an old wound. We were never able to heal properly. My mother never let me grieve for my twin. I was not allowed to assume her dead or "give up hope." My mother would buy things for when she returned to us and bring her up in conversation constantly. I was trying to move on, but my mother wouldn't let me.

About two years ago, I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at my mother for her stupidity. I told her that Jane was long dead and wouldn't want us to go on like this anymore. Of course, my mother burst into tears. She had always favored my sister, and I knew in my heart that she wished I had been taken instead. My father, upon my mother's orders, told me to leave.

Three weeks later, I started to receive calls from my mother. Messages flooded my phone, but I didn't look at them. I wanted to let her suffer a bit longer. It was childish and wrong, but I was just so angry with her… I'm a horrible person. A week later, the police showed up at my door. They informed me of my mother's death. I was taken aback with the news, but what they said next nearly killed me.

"It seems, ma'am, that your mother has committed suicide. There was a note to you. It seems she couldn't take the pain of your sister's disappearance and her husband's recent death. It was too much for her to bear."

"Dad?" I let out, though only a whisper.

"Has no one told you? I'm so sorry for putting it so bluntly. I assumed you knew. Your father was in a fatal car accident a week ago. He died Tuesday night."

I fell to my knees as my body was wracked with sobs. It was my fault, Will. It was all my fault!"

At this point, Lizzie was sobbing like the day she heard the news. Will's eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and Lizzie was clinging to him. She was afraid to look at him, for fear of the disgust she would see there. To her surprise, he held her tightly. She felt so safe there in his arms that she never wanted him to release her.

But the bubble was inevitably popped as AAA reached their broken down truck.

Lizzie pulled away from him, careful not to meet his eyes. Will stepped out of the truck and shook the wrecker's hand. They road in the cab of the tow truck, Will's dragging behind them. The ride was silent. Even if they wanted to, which Lizzie surely did not, they wouldn't make the driver uncomfortable with the dismal and personal topic. When they got back to the Darcy house, Lizzie jumped out of the truck, barely waiting for its wheels to halt. She ran inside and towards her room but before she reached it she ran into Sam.

"Lizzie?" he asked hesitantly, and then added, "are you okay?" Lizzie realized just how distressing she must have looked in that moment. She was drenched, but tears were mingled with the rain. She could feel her eyes getting red and puffy.

"Yeah," she said, putting on a fake smile. "I'm fine. I just need to go change. It's pouring outside."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah. I just need to warm up." Lizzie's mouth made another uneasy smile.

She finally made it to her room. She changed out of her dress and left Will's coat to dry in the bathroom. She wasn't ready to see him yet. She put on a warm sweater with matching socks knitted by Mrs. Patterson back home and some leggings. Just as she fell on her bed with a sigh, there was a knock at the door. She reluctantly pulled herself up and to the door. As she opened turned the knob, she started to say Will's name, but stopped short upon seeing Sam. He was carrying a cup of hot tea and a book. The sight made her heart melt.

"Hey. Sorry to bother you…"

"You aren't bothering me, Sam."

"Okay. Well, I thought you might want some tea," he said, extending the cup of hot liquid out to her. She took it, smiling for real this time.

"Thank you, Sam. That's really sweet."

"I also brought you this." He gave her the book in his hand. It was a copy of Grimm's Fairytales. "It always makes me feel better when I'm sad..." His voice trailed off.

"Oh…" Lizzie thought about denying her sadness, but decided to be honest for once. "Thank you. I'm sure it'll work for me, too." Sam smiled kindly at her before turning to go. Lizzie shut the door quietly, and then sat in the small armchair in the corner. She curled up with her tea and book, and soon she was asleep.

Will was worried about Lizzie. She had left so abruptly that he didn't have time to speak to her about what she told him. He wanted to talk to her, but he knew she wanted some space. He went to his study to catch up on some paperwork, but he couldn't think about anything but Lizzie. She carried so much with her, it was a wonder she was still standing. Will felt the overwhelming urge to protect her, but when she had pulled away from him, she refused to look at him. It made Will nervous. He sat there stewing for what felt like eternity. All of a sudden, though, it all rushed in on him. Will couldn't take it anymore. He had to talk to Lizzie. He set his files down on his desk with an audible thud before advancing toward the door. He deftly navigated the twists and turns of his many hallways, walking with purpose. When he reached her door, he didn't even think to knock. He swung it open, his mouth opening to speak, but stopped short when he saw her. She looked so peaceful in that moment. She lay curled up in the armchair, a book falling from her slack hands. With an empty mug wedged between her and the chair and her wild, red hair falling onto her forest green wool sweater, she looked like a Norman Rockwell painting. Will was so sure-footed in his speech, but once he saw her, his thoughts flew away from him. He wanted to cry and sing all at once. It was such a strange and intense feeling. Before he knew what he was doing, Will was kneeling in front of her, his hand almost touching her face. Her eyes fluttered for a moment, though, bringing him back to his senses; back to reality. He stood quickly and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. He leaned against the doorframe to catch his breath, then slowly slid down to the floor.

Lizzie awoke in a daze. She thought she had seen Will, but knew that couldn't be true. There was no way he would ever want to speak to her again after what she told him. She would start packing in the morning. The neglect she showed would surely put her out of a job. _What was that line Lady Bracknell said to Jack? _She thought. _"To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." What if Jack had lost his twin, too? Surely Gwendolyn couldn't marry him then. Gwendolyn wouldn't even want to marry him, so there'd be no point in getting her mother's consent. She wouldn't want anything to do with him for fear of being lost herself… _Lizzie would miss the beautiful garden and beach. She'd miss her room that was at least three times larger than the one back home. Lizzie would even miss the confusing hallways of the masterful Darcy house. She could get over those things, though. She longed for those she would not; Sampson, with his head full of knowledge and heart of understanding. She couldn't stand not knowing Noah's lightheartedness and ability to make people smile or the depth of Audrey's emotions, despite her age. And little Lucy; no one could forget her. The life and beauty that radiated from that little girl was unthinkable. Lizzie, though she didn't care to admit it, would even miss Will. _It isn't even an even. I will miss Will…_ she thought to herself, almost smiling despite the overwhelming sense of grief she was feeling. Though she couldn't bear the thought of leaving her makeshift family, she was glad to have known them for the short time that she did. She took solace in the memories she was silently tucking away in the big vault of life inside her mind. That's all she had now; memories. Everyone would be gone.

Lizzie forced herself to pack now. She threw her things into a suitcase and put her rubber rain boots on. She couldn't handle the silence anymore. She would have to leave, and what better time than the present? She went into the bathroom to gather up her toiletries when she saw Will's coat. She began to cry in earnest now; big fat tears rolled down her cheeks. She shoved the rest of her things into the already full suitcase. She had to sit on it to get it to close, which would have been funny if she had wanted to leave. She put on her long grey pea coat, pulling her suitcase behind her. She grabbed Will's coat from where she left it. She had to return it to him and tell him she was leaving. _It'll save him the trouble of doing the deed_, she supposed. When she opened the door to her room, though, Will fell back onto her feet. It seemed as though he had been sleeping, but was abruptly awoken by the jolt. He looked up at her with his ice blue eyes, startled. Lizzie almost laughed. She would have, if she hadn't already been crying. Will gave her a small smile, but when he saw her tears, it faltered. His brow furrowed in worry as he moved to a standing position.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey."

"What's -" he began, but upon seeing her suitcase, he said, "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving," Lizzie said decidedly.

"But why?" his voice betrayed his desperation.

"Were you not listening? My sister, my dad, then my mom; I'm neglectful, careless. I shouldn't be allowed to watch your children. I lose people-" Before she could finish, Will was wrapping his arms tightly around her. She let loose a whole other bout of tears. His touch was so comforting. She knew she was substantially dampening his shirt but didn't care. They just stood there hugging in the hallway, her room still wide open. After a few minutes, she started to pull away.

"I swear I don't cry this much. I don't know why this is-" Will cut her off with a kiss. Lizzie jumped away, surprised at the sudden jolt she felt go through her.

"Oh, God. I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry. I shouldn-" This time _she _cut _him _off, kissing him back with feverish intensity. He let out a low moan as their lips met. His coat slipped out of her hands and her suitcase fell to the floor. Will gently pushed her back into her room, deepening the kiss. He shut the door with his foot as his hands went to her hair.

After a few minutes they broke apart, breathless. Somehow they ended up tangled together on the floor on the opposite side of the room.

"What are we doing?" Lizzie asked. Will paused for a moment, his face unsure.

"I don't know."


	6. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Sorry if you get excited due to the alert... I just wanted to let you guys know that I have not forgotten about this story. Someone very close to me died soon after my last update and I haven't really been thinking about writing. More recently, though, I've realized that those around us are very important, and when lost, it is okay to grieve, but the task must not consume your life. I can't squander the time that I have by feeling sorry for myself simply because they do not have time to squander. I will be resuming this, but it may be a little slow, for which I apologize. Thank you for your support.

P.S. This is probably really weird, considering I have never given an author's note before. But I don't do anything half-baked!


End file.
